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Chris Jones: Rugby Writers v Dutch President's XV

Rugby writers are often asked if they actually played the game – well, that is the case for those not called Alistair Hignell or Stuart Barnes! Of course we have and can bore anyone who comes into earshot with tales of incredible rugby skills displayed around the world as we have done our best to spread the word. 

One of the great trips undertaken by the Rugby Union Writers XV was to Holland where we had agreed to play a Dutch Presidents XV in the 1980s. Things didn’t start too well as having managed to get everyone on the train from London and then the ferry to the Hook, we boarded another train to take us to meet with our hosts. When we arrived at our destination the local liaison asked if we thought we were taking part in a sevens tournament as he could only see that number of players at the station entrance. We assured him that we had more than enough players but on closer inspection it was confirmed that we had arrived with seven. The mystery was solved later than evening when the rest of the tour party arrived and revealed that they had got on one end of our train at the Hook and we had got on the other. The train had then split and while we headed to our rendezvous the rest of the players found themselves in Amsterdam and proceeded to prepare for the game in the red light district.

By game day we had managed to sober them up and made it to the pitch in time for kick off. Tim Glover, of the Independent, was our right wing and needed to be woken up just before kick off in his hotel room. It was discovered that he had gone to sleep while smoking and the cigarette had burnt a small hole in the mattress next to him without actually setting the whole bed on fire. Tim was struggling during the match but in a move that would have had the England selectors purring, we got the ball out to our man on the right wing. He set off for the try line only to be overtaken on the outside by Barry Newcombe of the Sunday Express who was running touch. As Glover reached the try line he put the ball down in the far right corner which drew this response from me (running a superb support line): “Glover, why didn’t you put the ball down behind the posts?” With a pained expression he replied: “It was enough to reach the bloody try line.”

Victory was secured, whole pickled herring were consumed along with local ales and profuse apologies were offered to their open side flanker who was having to attend a job interview the next day with two black eyes.

We headed back to the ferry (all on the same train), safe in the knowledge that we had spread the rugby gospel, proved that we could actually play the sport we reported on and avoided serious injury. There is no video evidence of the match but for those of us who came, saw and conquered it remains a great rugby memory.

Memory added on February 16, 2021

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